Monday, September 15, 2008

Rightwing Roundup: End of the World Edition

1. The Original Version is Better

Rightwing churches across the nation are not happy that Katy Perry's catchy tune "I Kissed a Girl" has become such a hit. Previously, I highlighted one bright rightwinger who suggested that this song has lesbian "undertones." On perhaps the most humorous church sign ever, one pastor decided that the implications for this song were even more sinister. The loving bold-faced Christian message displayed on his sign:

"I KISSED A GIRL
AND I LIKED IT
THEN I WENT TO HELL"

While it's not quite as catchy as Perry's tune, I'm sure with a little effort the church thespians can work it into the next church musical.


2. They Were Right?

In a previous Rightwing Roundup, I discussed the rightwinger's remarkable propensity for believing that various social phenomena signify that the world is on the verge of imminent collapse. It turns out, however, that the world may very well be on the verge of imminent collapse after all.

European scientists have created a massive particular accelerator to study the Big Bang. One scientist is concerned that this accelerator could produce tiny "black holes that could suck up anything around them -- including the whole Earth"! Eeep!

We should definitely make a sign for this.

THEY ACCELERATED ATOM-THINGIES IN ORDER TO ADVANCE SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE OF THE BEGINNINGS OF OUR UNIVERSE
THEN WE ALL WENT TO HELL


3. So, It's Not Gay Marriage Then?

In other alarming-yet-unhelpful news, a bipartisan Weapons of Mass Destruction group has released a report calling the threat of a nuclear, chemical or biological terrorist attack "the single greatest threat to our nation."

Sally Kern and other anti-gays take note. Your gay-baiting past-time might soon become outdated. Maybe just maybe you'll advocate for us all to come together as a nation to actually address actual threats to our nation rather than threats invented for political purposes.

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