I have decided to initiate a new "marriage defense" referendum that will piggyback off of California nad Maine's referenudms that de-legalized same-sex marriage. My referendum will be nationwide in scope and will prohibit reality television shows that center around two heterosexual parents and their children.
My reasons are simple:
1. First and foremost, the way that heterosexuals parade their sex lives in everyone's faces for fame and money is disgusting.
I don't care what people do in their private bedrooms, but I for one am sick of heterosexuals flaunting their sexualities in public. An innocent shopper can't even make it through a grocery store line without, on the cover of virtually every gossip rag, seeing those 8 little reminders of the fact that Jon humped Kate. Whilst flipping through the channel menu on the television, one cannot but be reminded of the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Jim Bob Duggar have had sex at least 18 times (and counting).
There is a concept called "too much information." Fame-seeking families and television producers should become familiar with it, instead of coming up with cutesy hyper-sexualized names for in-your-face television shows revolving around the sexualities of heterosexual couples and their litters.
2. When reality television parents break up, which they almost inevitably do, it severs the link between procreation and marriage. Americans everywhere learn that marriage is not about having and raising children, it's about how to best market one's family for purposes of reality television opportunities.
We must defend marriage, and indeed all of society, from the dangers posted to it by unscripted television programming.
Please, won't somebody think of the children?