They Hate Us For Our Government

I love it when people try to go all rogue libertarian without really thinking it through. Many of them see no need for the things the government does that they completely take for granted or are ignorant of.

Our friend Playful Walrus, who doesn't seem to like democracy, the government, or the US legal system very much, suggests a simple.... very simple.... new legal system of his own. He opines:

"Ideally, our laws would all boil down to:

1. Do not assault or murder.
2. Do not do not steal.
3. Do not damage what someone else owns against their will.
4. Do not be negligent in guardianship over dependents.
5. Do the time if you do the crime.

What am I forgetting?"

I adore that he added that question there at the end. What am I forgetting? Like, he really, really though this new legal system through (for I don't know, maybe 3 whole minutes?), thought it was just as good as any other system, and couldn't foresee any issues on his own. So, naturally, he opened the floor for other people to fill in the missing pieces.

Let me help.

I think my first question would be, well, are these "laws" suggestions or mandates?

For instance, with respect to "do the time if you do the crime," what entity is going to ensure that a criminal does, in fact, "do the time" for the crime? PW's legal scheme creates no police forces, criminal courts, or prosecutors. Is the idea that people will just naturally form vigilante mobs? Can random people just build jails and start imprisoning people?

And, from where would this entity get its authority to restrict other people's liberty? Might makes right?

What about property?

Since PW's legal system didn't establish a government or civil courts (let alone a Patent and Trademark Office), what entity is going to protect people's property rights?

If people's property rights aren't well-defined, how are we going to determine what constitutes "stealing"? Who's going to determine, and punish people, for damaging other people's property "against their will"?

Who's going to build roads, schools, bridges, fire departments, universities, and hospitals- Private individuals? Companies?

Who knows!? Who cares?!

I think what's important here is that PW's system is easy and simple. And importantly, The People will get to work out all the ticky-tacky details as they see fit. What could possibly go wrong?

Ironically, PW seems to think it is primarily progressives, homosexualists, and liberals who want to destroy The American Way Of Life.