Monday, August 11, 2008

Rightwing Roundup: Lesbian "Terrorists" and Fires

1. Hyperbole of the Week

When you see a headline like "Lesbians Terrorize San Diego Community" you definitely have to read the accompanying article. I mean, I for one get scary images of hoards of evil lesbians wielding machine guns and wreaking havoc through a city. You know, sort of like Heath Ledger's sociopathic Joker blowing up hospitals and planting bombs on boats just for the fun of it.

Yet, upon reading that very headline and associated commentary at some guy named James Hartline's blog I realized there was a profound disconnect between his reporting of the San Diego Dyke March and the reality of what occurred that day. His "objective" eye describes this dyke march as a "terrorist" event in which "some" parents "were forced to keep their kids off the streets so that they would not be exposed to these lesbians carrying obscene signs." Ohhhhh yes. Not only that but it was a "nightmarish event" full of (vague and unnamed) "disgusting activities." It was a "vile event" and "perverted escapade" in which women professed to love their "boobies!"

[WARNING WARNING This article includes links to photos of happy lesbians and families! WARNING WARNING]

Peruse the pictures that Hartline links to and see it all for yourself. Try not to laugh, though. See, I predict that anyone with any grasp on reality will quickly realize that Hartline's descriptions of the parade are slightly unhinged.

When I look at the pictures I, for one, see smiling toddlers walking hand-in-hand with their mothers. I see women dancing in the sun, laughing. I see women holding up placards peacefully walking through the streets. I see women on bicycles and women in wheelchairs waving to the cameras. In fact, the only thing I saw that was remotely "nightmarish" about the day's activities were the photos of the two white mom-aged women awkwardly dancing in the sun.

But seriously, when a person has to so profoundly exaggerate and vilify lesbians to advance his anti-gay "Christian" crusade, I can only think that he has no legitimate way to do so.

But I suppose we knew that already, didn't we? And by the way, is anyone else as sick as I am of the gays as terrorists "metaphor"?

James Hartline, get a fuckin' grip.

2. Must Have Been Those Lesbo Terrorists

In "breaking" news, Fred Phelp's Church of God-Hates-Fags caught on fire a few days ago. The Phelps' clan apparently believes the fire is a case of arson. In fact, the good reverend posted a really Christian message on YouTube saying that the fire was "no doubt the work of fags or fag sympathizers" and he has requested that the US Attorney General investigate the fire as a hate crime!

Oh, but in less exciting news, the fire marshall who investigated the fire said "it didn't appear that accelerants were used to ignite the fire."

Sorry, Fred. Sometimes bad things just happen to bad people.

3. That's All

Hi, dear readers. I just got back from womantopia. Thus, while Rightwing Roundup usually has at least 3 featured pieces of rightwing asininity, the above two are all I can muster right now. It's all about easing back into the "real" world in a healthy manner.


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