Friday, November 14, 2008

On a Non-Political Note.... Survey Says: Alice

What's up with everyone liking Alice from The Brady Bunch?

You may have noticed my little poll on the left side of the blog. Even though I'm sure it violates some sort of human subject research ethics to conduct research on people without their knowledge, I was basically conducting a super-scientific experiment to test my theory regarding the lesbian propensity to identify with Alice. Even though only a few of you participated and non-lesbians also participated in the poll, I think it can be stated as an absolute fact that lesbians like Alice:


Seriously, my research paper can be found at Grace the Spot's Stuff Lesbians Like:

"While some lesbians of a certain age undoubtedly thought Marsha Brady was neat-o, lesbians definitely like the Brady clan's uniformed maid Alice.

This isn't surprising. I mean, let's face it, it's apparent that the sturdy, wise-cracking Alice was the real man of the Brady house.

While many a lesbian have suspected that Sam the Butcher was really Sam the Beard, we lack solid evidence. Yet, Wikipedia has revealed that Alice's "relationship" and perpetual engagement to Sam was a non-sexual arrangement of sorts, calling Alice the show's oldest "virgin."

Assuming that an old maid is a virgin is a mistake that is all too common in a heteronormative society such as our own. As a lesbian, I have my own theories. Without going into too much naughty detail, let's just say that if I were in charge of writing the Brady Bunch Movie, my version would have looked quite different. Specifically, I'd delve a little deeper into explaining the real reason the Bradys needed a maid despite the facts that Mrs. Brady didn't work and the Brady kids were old enough to help out around the house."


By the way, who's the person who voted for whiny Jan?

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