1) Dogs sure look weird when they're shaking water off themselves.
2) A 65-year-old woman in South Carolina is challenging a $445 obscenity ticket she received for having fake testicles on her vehicle.
The fake testicles in question are, apparently, called "Bulls Balls" and are "bigger and more expensive than the popular Truck Nutz." (Was there really a high demand for a bigger, more expensive version of Truck Nutz?)
Anyway, when asked if the ticket conflicts with the First Amendment, the chief of police uncreatively stated, "I don't know what they would be trying to express."
Oh, come on now. You're not trying very hard if you can't infer a message from fake testicles dangling from a vehicle. Whether it's Calvin pissing on a Ford logo, Yosemitie Sam mud flaps telling other drivers to "Back Off!," or 53 beanie babies on someone's dashboard, isn't some sort of expression the whole point of optional car decorations?
3) Riffing off of a post from last week, if I had to make a list of annoying phrases, I'd start with:
"It is what it is." (Because what does that even mean? Most uninformative statement ever.)
"[Scary animal] is more scared of you than you are of it." (Nope, doubt it).
"It's not the heat, it's the humidity." (Because sometimes it really is the heat. And sometimes it's both).
"It's not heavy, it's awkward." (Because if it were awkward and light, it would still be easy to carry. Because it would be light. And some things are heavy and awkward. For instance, an upright piano I once helped move).
What are you some of yours?