Monday, January 7, 2013

Still Looking For That "Feminist Echo Chamber"

This weekend, commenter Dominic popped into Fannie's Room to inform us that men:
"...think most feminists are hypocritical sexists who don't want to hear anything that might disrupt their echo chamber."
I hear MRAs and anti-feminists make that accusation frequently.

And, well, over the years, it's become ever so clear to me that anyone whose criticism of feminism contains the phrase "feminist echo chamber" is about 85% ignorant of feminism, especially as it exists on Internet.

I'll echo (see what I did thar?) EDB5Fold's observation that, in my 6 years of feminist blogging, I have yet to encounter this much-referenced haven where all The Feminists are in total 100% agreement with the Feminist Platform, this utopia where in-fighting never occurs, and where feminists never call each other out for problematic arguments.

I mean, are you kidding me?

Where? Where is this fantastical femitopia and why oh why do only anti-feminists know about it but not, like, actual feminists? Why are they withholding this key intel from us?

But seriously, I must once again note my prior observation that the biggest failing of many anti-feminists isn't that they disagree with us, it's that they're so ignorant of feminism that they can't even render informed, solid critiques of it.

Because yes, some feminists and some ideas that some feminists hold are worthy of criticism. But, when someone's Big-Time Critique is to come here and bark "feminists are hypocritical sexists," well that sure as shit ain't it.

At this juncture in my life, the conversations about gender and feminism I'm more interested in having are more along the lines of, "Same-sex marriage, does it reinforce patriarchal norms and/or minimize them" and not, "Feminists, why do you hate men so much?"

I just don't see Fannie's Room 2013 being, like, an affirmative action program for ignorant anti-feminists who use such lazy-ass arguments, you know?

And, I'm not looking to interact with, let alone coddle, those random, entitled early 20-something young men who pop in here with their "men and women are just different, man!" thinking, who act like they have lots to teach "the feminist echo chamber" about gender stuff, lots of "gotchas" to catch us in, and that if we don't engage their Men's Rights Activism 101 thoughts to their full satisfaction they call us "cowards" who just can't "refute" their awesome, superior arguments.

I'm also not in dire need of such men being my "Devil's Advocate," because yes, I've probably both thought and written about these "other sides" these guys think they have to bring up here.

Is this confident of me? Sure. I'm okay with that. Because, helpful hint of the day: it's okay for women to be confident. That doesn't make us wrong, bitchy, or mean. If men can't handle us being smarter, more rational, or more competent than them at something, that's their problem and they better fucking get used to it if they're going to function in this world as productive grown-ups.

(Related reading: So, You Want To Teach the Lady Feminists).

It's almost like these critics don't get that feminists are, you know, individual human beings with varying opinions and beliefs about gender and that maybe it's irrational to expect one feminist to answer for, atone for, justify, condemn, or condone anything any other feminist ever has said or done.

If a person understands that, then maybe we can talk.

Until then, I hope some of these anti-feminists might come to better understand why feminists might be justified in finding it hostile to be treated like we're a hivemind and not actual people.

[ETA: It looks like all of Dominic's comments here over the past few days have been deleted and replaced with an "x." Just so readers know, I did not delete or edit these comments. Dominic may have done so himself, or it might be a Disqus glitch resulting from me deleting his last 3 comments he posted after I let him know he wasn't welcome to comment here any more.

Update: Judging by Dominic's comment below, it seems it was actually him who deleted and edited all of his previous comments. Damn. So much anti-feminist blogging fodder erased from the record.

He is also demanding that I go back and permanently delete the 68 comments he left here in the past 2 days because he doesn't want to keep getting notifications when people reply to him.  I guess he didn't think about how when he left 68 comments here in the past 2 days that maybe I and other people were getting notifications of his 68 comments here in the past 2 days and that that might be irritating.

Just a helpful hint to commenters to maybe think first about how seriously they want to engage when they want to kind of impulsively, extensively comment on other people's blogs.

I'll also note that Dominic was allowed to leave 68 comments in the past 2 days in this here "feminist echo chamber."]

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