Thursday, April 3, 2008

"Deep" Thought #8: A History "Lesson"

Throughout the history of the world, many civilizations have existed. Not all of these civilizations have existed forever, though. Some of them have died. Many people today, in fact, are saying that our civilization is on the decline. All the signs are here!

At this juncture, it is of the utmost importance for us to be asking ourselves what common bond history's lost peoples had with each other that led to their mass extinction.

What was it?

Their embrace of heterosexuality.

My brief historical account will prove this to be true.

Here are a few civilizations that have succumbed to the temptations of heterosexuality:

The ancient Egyptians.

Photobucket Even though these "Kings" and "Queens" were buried with loads of jewels, don't be fooled. They were heterosexuals. And now they're just heterosexual mummies.

The Vikings


As you can see from the above male specimen (artist's rendition), the vikings were definitely not gay. And now where are they?

The Clovis People of North America.


Not much is known about these Native American peoples other than the fact that they were so straight. As you can see in the historical picture, male-female pairs are building fire-nests. They are about to lay beside these warm pods and engage in heterosexual coitus.

Ancient Martians.


If there were Martians, they were probably heteros. That's why they're not around anymore.

From the idea that heterosexuality is "normal" to the sanctioning of "marriage" between two people of the opposite sex, it is clear that the correlation between the fall of these civilizations and the phenomenon of heterosexual acceptance caused the downfall of these civilizations.

Let this be a warning. If we don't remember history, we are doomed to repeat it.

Yeah, deep thoughts.

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