Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Unimportant Breaking News from the Right Roundup

1. See Ya Next Tuesday

A new book has come out documenting Republican presidential contender John McCain's notorious temper. One particularly shocking example of an alleged exchange between McCain and his wife Cindy follows:

"At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, 'You're getting a little thin up there.' McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days."

Aren't "American Values" fun?

2. Technical Difficulties

Watch out for anti-gay blog Opine Editorials' sinister agenda to recruit new members to its "group blog." Only problem? Their latest recruit can't figure out that newfangled internets. It certainly puts a damper on one's ability to write anti-gay blogs when one doesn't know how to, um, post blog articles on the Google. Minor details.

3. It's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate

Speaking of agendas, a Catholic bishop recently declared that the homasexuls have mounted a ginormous "conspiracy against Christian values." With regard to parenting, the bishop said that he would "not tolerate" the homosexuality of a child of his. A few moments later the bishop also said that he would "not condemn" the homosexuality of a child of his.

Aren't "Christian values" fun? In a, um, pardoxical sort of way.

4. "Interesting Movie" But..... You Still Lose.

Nasally unfunny actor Ben Stein has put out a documentary about war on "intelligent design." (Read reviews of the movie here). Let's begin the countdown until Christian proponents of this computer-programmer-in-the-sky idea begin salivating at the fact that Stein, who is Jewish, has delved into the "relation" between evolution and the Holocaust. Essentially, evolution is wrong because the Nazis "used" it. Oh yeah, and Stein is Jewish so he's not just making this up. It's personal. Because he's Jewish. Did they mention that Stein is Jewish? That gives him extra authority to misunderstand science and equate "Social Darwinism" with the scientific theory of evolution.

And did I mention that there are two surefire ways to automatically lose an argument? The first is to compare your opponent and his or her ideas to the Nazis/Hitler. The second is to "argue" that the Nazis used [insert behavior/idea/] and therefore that idea is wrong or bad. Both tactics "work" by associating whatever idea/person you are opposing with the moral reprehensibility of Hitler/Nazis thereby distracting from the merits of the idea/person itself. [For related information see Godwin's Law]

Whichever path you choose, the desperation brought about by your lack of an actual argument against the idea you are opposing is readily apparent.

And that wraps up this edition of "Unimportant Breaking News from the Right."

No comments: