Monday, July 7, 2008

"Deep" Thought #19: Farmer Explains Birds and Bees

Check out this YouTube video that totally speaks truth to power.

In it, a farmer sings a lil' ditty inviting gay couples down to his farm to see how "it's done" in nature. "It" meaning procreation. The gay community's quest for marriage equality, you see, has arisen because gay couples are confused, un-educated, and/or ignorant about how reproduction works. Maybe we missed a key class in sexual education when we were younger. Thus, we constantly need people smarter than us, especially blue-collar folk, to teach us about male-female coitus, reproduction, and biology.

Let's all take a moment to thank this farmer and give him kudos for his expert biology knowledge. Particularly "deep" is his argument that since two bulls can't make a baby cow, gay people should not be able to get married.

I didn't get it before. Now I do.

Gay? Lesbo? Go down to the farm. Watching animals engage in coitus will definitely change your mind about wanting the legal benefits, rights, and protections of marriage. Wait.... wait just a second! Does anyone else smell the opportunity of an ex-gay farm venture? Oh wait. Nope. That's just the putrid smell of stale cow manure. My bad.

You know, given the high rates of teen pregnancy these days, one would think that a song inviting teenagers down on the farm to educate them about how babies are made would have been more appropriate. That's okay, though. We understand. Joking about unfortunate out-of-wedlock births and teenagers having sex before they're ready wouldn't have been as "funny" as ridiculing gays, would it? Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks, right? Hardy-har-fuckin-har.

We'll just take one for the team here while you family values folks have a hearty laugh.

Yeah, gay people seek marriage because they just don't understand how procreation works. "Deep" thoughts.

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