Friday, July 4, 2008

RightWing Roundup: Hypocrites, Doooooods, and Gay Mayo

1. Oh Hell No!

It is often claimed that gay men and lesbians don't know what marriage is. See, if we only knew that marriage can only exist between a man and a woman, we would know that only a man and a woman could get married.

Thankfully, some members of our Congress who really know what marriage is all about are sponsoring a Marriage Protection Amendment that lays it all out: "Marriage in the US shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman."

This language was surprising to me.

See, when I saw who two of the sponsors were, David Vitter and Larry Craig, I at first thought that this resolution would seek to protect marriage by making it illegal for married men to seek the services of prostitutes or, perhaps, from soliciting sex from undercover male police officers in public restrooms. But alas, we can see that allowing same-sex couples to marry poses a much larger threat to married couples than does adultery. Obvi.

In all seriousness, both Craig and Vitter should have resigned long ago and are in no position to impose their values on our Constitution. That these two alleged adulterers are charged with "protecting" an institution that they have proven unable to protect in their own personal lives shows that the gay marriage "wedge issue" is nothing but a political football tossed around at politically convenient times. Like every four years or so.

What really chaps my ass about the whole ordeal is that both of these men, neither of whom allegedly respected their legal marriages, are accorded the significant rights of marriage while hundreds of thousands of law-abiding, committed, and faithful gay and lesbian couples are not. And further, both of these men seek to deny loving, law-abiding couples from having the same benefits of marriage that they, alleged criminals and adulterers, get solely by virtue of their heterosexuality or "heterosexuality."

It just doesn't get more ironic and hypocritical than this, folks.

2. The Stereotype Just Writes Itself

What's more funny than one of WorldNetDaily columnist Vox Day's articles to his mostly male readership "explaining" why women pretty much suck at life?

Reading his "Best 25 games" article wherein hundreds of his fellow woman-hating gamers discuss the pros and cons of "Sonic the Hedgehog" and "Space Battle (Intellivision)".

I can haz teh smart too? Nope. I's just a womyn.

(I refuse to embed a link to this misogynist crowd.

3. Don't You Hate it When Your Mayo Has Homos in it?

The blogger Happy Jihad, whom I appreciate for regularly saying things I'm too polite (yes really) to say, recently noted a humorous Christian headline from propaganda site OneNewsNow. But first, for some background, a Heinz advertisement recently featured a gay male couple making sandwiches for their children and then ushering them off to school. Predictably, this did not sit well with the American Family Association (AFA), which accused Heinz of pushing "homosexual 'marriage.'"

The "creative" AFA/OneNewsNow headline?

"Heinz in Pickle Over Homosexual-Laced Mayo Ad."

Happy 4th of July, everyone! Enjoy your picnics and fireworks. But beware. Check your mayo jars for homasexuls. Those sneaky suckers have a tendency to pop up in the most unlikely of places.

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