Well folks, it looks like it's gonna be rich, white, heterosexual man John McCain in an historic bid for the presidency versus either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. You know those Republicans, always on the cutting edge of progress!
But... are we ready for this?
Pressing questions we all must be asking at this juncture include:
Will McCain's core base of rich white men and Nascar dads be enough to ensure victory?
How will white and male identity politics play into the race?
Will men be able to separate the issues from their gender? How many men will vote for McCain just because he's a man?
Will white people be able to separate the issues from their race? How many white people will vote for McCain just because he's white?
How will McCain play the gender and/or race card to his advantage?
Is John McCain too unemotional to be president?
Does John McCain have too much testosterone-fueled rage to be president?
How will John McCain handle the moments he is president and has an erection?
What will John McCain wear, and will he ever cry during the race and/or the presidency?
How will male pundits react to the novelty of a male presidential candidate? How will they characterize his voice?
Will they critique McCain's appearance and outfits?
How will McCain handle the assumption that, by virtue of his gender alone, he is fit to be Commander-in-Chief?
Only time will tell.
Let's make history, USA!